I was recently interviewed by Rabbi Shira Stern of Temple Rodeph Torah for a sermon that she was preparing for Rosh Hashana.  In our interview, she asked me an interesting question:  "Do you have any advice for families as far as how they can help their children and young adults who are struggling with a mental illness?"   I thought for a moment, and then shared:  "The best way to help others who are struggling is to take care of yourself. Then, you can truly be there for your loved ones."

I like to call this the "oxygen mask theory of life."  When you are flying on a plane, and you get all of the safety tips in the beginning, they talk about how, if the cabin should ever lose oxygen, oxygen masks will fall.  When they do, they always advise that people who are sitting next to a child put their mask on first.  This is not to be cruel.  Let's say you don't have your mask on and you try to put the mask on the child, but they fight you.  Now both parties are in trouble. 

The same is true for caring for a loved one with a mental illness.  If you are not caring for yourself, and making your care your number one priority, how can you help your loved one?  There are supports out there for you.  Many organizations have support groups just for families.  For example, NAMI, the national alliance on mental illness, has courses for families to take to learn how to care for loved ones who are struggling with a mental illness.  It is also important that you take care of your mental health.  You may want to work with a therapist in order to get good advice on how to handle your situation with your loved one.  Eat well, exercise, sleep well.  And, don't put your life totally on hold.  It is important that you get out and enjoy yourself as much as you can, even if you feel guilty. Try not to feel guilty though.  Caring for yourself is the best thing that you can do. 

Be Well
~Emily