What is wellness?  How can you help your children to experience it?  How can you experience it for yourself?  If you are asking yourself these questions, then you are in the right place.  Wellness has many definitions, but when I define it, I consider it to be emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical health.  Without all of these elements, it is difficult to maintain a quality of life and feel a great sense of wellbeing.   

It is your birthright and the birthright of your children to be well.  Without wellness, a child's future seems dim.  The good news is that even if you or your child does not have wellness in all of these areas, they can attain it.  There are things that you can do to help, and here are a few:

1. Model wellness:  If you are not caring for yourself, your children will not learn how to be well.  It is a common misconception that in order to take care of children, you have to sacrifice.  Although this is true to some extent, it is not true that you should sacrifice to the detriment of your own health.  Children mimic what you do, not what you say.  So, if they see you caring for yourself, they will mimic your behaviors. 

2. Get support:  It is true when they say "It takes a Village" to raise a child.  You cannot expect to be the only one responsible for every facet of your child's wellbeing.  You need help.  Getting help in areas that are not your strength is important.  Whether it is a tutor for a subject that you cannot help your child with, a life coach, a therapist, a psychiatrist, a nutritionist, or any other provider, it is not showing that you cannot care for your child if you get them help.  It is actually showing strength and a supreme desire to care for your child. 

3. Be collaborative: Working hand-in-hand with your child's teachers and other support people is so important.  Your input is needed.  Your child may behave differently in front of you than in school, and the professionals need to know this information.  If you are having a problem at home, it is important that you share this with your child's teachers, guidance counselors, and administrators.  Do not be ashamed; these professionals are not allowed to share this information with the general public.  It helps a school to know what is going on at home so that they can understand your child's unique needs.

4. A family affair:  Wellness should be something that is deeply engrained into your family's values and routines.  It is important that you schedule your children and yourself for regular check ups for their health, vision, hearing, and dental health.  Also, cooking healthful, balanced meals in reasonably-sized portions is important.  Schedule time to go out and play with your children at a park, and make sure that they are not always in front of the tv or playing video games.  The more the whole family works on wellness, the better you and your children will feel. 

5. Be aware of time:  Children (and adults for that matter) usually thrive in structured environments.  The more healthy routines you can establish at home, the better.  Make sure that your children have a regular bed time, and set times for other activities such as chores, homework, practice, etc.  This creates an atmosphere of safety and predictability that has a very calming effect on children. 

6. Share feelings:  It is important that you help children process their emotions and thoughts throughout the course of a day.  So many things come up for children, and they have very complex emotions about things.  So, it is important to give your child room to express how they are feeling about things by asking.  How do you start such a conversation?  It can begin as simply as asking them about their day.  If they give the typical "it was fine" routine, try to engage them by bringing up something that interests them.  Ask details about it.  Somewhere in the course of the conversation, explore how your child felt about a particular experience that they had doing that thing. 

Raising a child is a complex issue.  Raising a child with a disAbility can be even more complex.  However, with proper planning and awareness, you can create a life of wellness for you and your family.

Be Well. 
~Emily