This caption so clearly illustrates the way I felt at my first "weigh in" at Weight Watchers this morning.  I reflected on the past three years, and how I had gotten to this place, almost 100 lbs over where I'm supposed to be.  I remembered my last bout with depression, and the way I tried so hard to "eat my way" out of it. I remembered that this only made things worse.  And, I decided to persevere. 

The statistics show that I am not alone in having a weight gain as one of the residual affects of struggling with my mental health.  According to an article in Time Magazine from December 3, 2008 entitled "Why Do the Mentally Ill Die Younger?"  it has been found that "people with depression or bipolar disorder are about twice as likely to be obese as the general population; in people with schizophrenia, that likelihood is three times greater. "

And, from the same article, an even more morbid statistic:  "the National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors (NASMHPD) published a study two years ago called Morbidity and Mortality in People with Serious Mental Illness. The report analyzed data from 16 states and found that, on average, people with severe mental illness die 25 years earlier than the general population."

Twenty-five years younger?!?  Me?  Well, no thank you!  I really believe that these statistics are leaving out one really important thing:  Choice.  Yes, it may be true that with a mental illness, I could die younger.  But, I know that this is a choice.  I can choose to stay this weight forever, and die young from obesity-related complications, or I can do something about it.  And I choose to do something. 

When I wake up early tomorrow morning to run with my running team,  Running on Love, for the first time, I know that I'm not just taking a step towards raising money for mental illness.  I'm taking the first steps to extend my life, and prove that those with mental illness can live full and LONG lives, with the proper self-care.  I'm going to be running towards solving my weight problems for the first time in a long time, rather than running away from them.  And hopefully, I'm going to be inspiring others to do the same. 

Be Well
~Emily