I know that it has taken a long time for me to weigh in on the Arizona shooting.  Far from finding it unimportant, it has simply just taken me a while to figure out which aspect of it was most important to cover on my blog.  Well, here's what I have come up with.  Yes, it is important that schools solidify their mental health screening processes.  And, no, I do not blame the parents of Jared Loughner for the fact that he went out and committed an unthinkable crime. 

That said, I do not feel that going forward, parents of children with mental health disturbances need to feel powerless to prevent them from harming themselves or harming someone else.  So, here, in short, are some ideas that are important for ALL parents to make themselves aware of:

1. Talk to your children: If your child is showing a pattern of behavior that is atypical for them, always start by trying to talk with them directly.  Have dinner with them, and begin with light conversation that then leads into more serious talk.  Don't be afraid to upset them, or feel like you are "overstepping your bounds" or "prying."  It can save a life in the end if you know how they are feeling.  This is not always easy, and you may not have success, however, it is important to try before taking more serious action. 

2. Talk to your children's teachers, administrators, guidance counselors, etc:  If your child is behaving erratically, and they are not telling you why, it is so important that you do some "research."  Again, it is not be invasive of your childrens' privacy.  When children are quiet about things, it is generally because they are overwhelmed and do not know how to help themselves.  It is important that you are able to know what they are dealing with so that you can figure out how to get them the help that they need. 

3. Don't be afraid to involve the authorities:  If your child is exhibiting behavior that is not typical for him or her, or they are saying things that worry you, it is important that you do not try to take this on on your own.  That is what trained professionals are for.  I know that it is difficult to bring a professional into the picture, however, it can save lives if you do.  So, here are some ideas when dealing with professionals.
a.  If your child/ young adult is making statements of wanting to harm themselves or others- do not hesitate- call 911.  This does not mean that your child will get in trouble, but it is important that they are evaluated by professionals if making such statements.  Most towns will send out a psychiatric screener who is educated on how to ask your child the right questions to keep them and others safe. 
b.  If your child/ young adult is not yet making those statements, but is damaging property, threatening you, etc, again, dial 911, and have them evaluated. 
c. If your child/ young adult is exhibiting lack of care for themselves, lack of interest in things that they used to enjoy, lack of motivation, etc, they may be depressed and need an intervention.  Do not be afraid to have a trained professional such as a psychologist evaluate them.
d.  Many parents report that they are afraid that involving a professional can hurt their relationship with their child/ young adult.  This may be the case temporarily.  However, in the long run, when your child/ young adult is through the mental health crisis, they will probably thank you for keeping them safe.  Your child being angry at you is a small price to pay for their safety and well being, as well as the safety of those around them. 

I know that this is a hard topic to read about, but it can save lives, and that was my main objective in writing it.  If you have further questions, PLEASE do not hesitate to contact me at thedreamteamcoaches@gmail.com. I will be happy to help you understand this more, and find more resources in your area for your child. 

Be well
~Emily